Thursday, July 03, 2008

Embarassing but True

I did NOT want to write this but I cant leave that last post up. I will not, in fact, be starting a new job downtown on July 21st.  Due to a miscommunication about the work-related incident report I have on my record, the job offer was rescinded.  They said that had they known about it in the first place, they never would have even considered talking to me about the position. (By the way, I have updated my online Big Bank Co application to reflect the incident so no other potential hiring managers can be surprised by the incident.)  I am so humiliated and embarrassed.  I feel like a colossal failure and as though there is nothing I can do well, right, or with excellence.

Maybe I am not the corporate America type.  I'm sure trying to be.  I should have made more of an effort to find a career path right out of high school.  I never in a million years thought that the responsibility of being the main breadwinner in my family would fall to me. I wanted to be a stay at home mom, but Bob’s disability has changed all our plans around. The pressure to bring home a better paycheck is unbelievable and I feel I've failed utterly.  I'm trying my best and it seems I cannot catch a break.
Interestingly, everyone who’s responded to me thus far in response has suggested leaving Big Bank Co. In thinking about that, I pondered going back to school a final time and getting my degree in digital photography from Brown College.  Low and behold, out of the blue, an admissions counselor from Brown called me just now and asked if Im still interested in their digital photography program.  We chatted a bit and I said Id call him back after we returned from our vacation.  This requires an in-depth discussion with Bob.

Anyway, thanks for your prayers and support.  I hope you all have a wonderful and amazing 4th of July weekend.


Joan65 said...

Amy, I am stunned by your news. I'm sorry you've had such a huge disappointment. Are you sure you could find work in digital photography even if you went back for a degree? It's so competitive.
It looks like that you have no future for advancement at Big Bank. Is there anyway you could get that unfavorable thing pulled from your file? You said it was a miscommunication; perhaps there is something you could do about it. Have you tried looking outside the company for a job? You're not happy there; maybe it would be better to look elsewhere. Everyone has work pressure; I feel it, too, after being married for 17 years then divorced. It can be scary.

Best to you and Bob for a safe and happy 4th.

Take good care!

Joan65 said...

Amy, I'm sorry to hear your news about the job! I hope you and Bob have a nice vacation. I wonder if you could talk to someone at Big Bank about the letter in your file. Surely, they would have fired you long ago if you were not capable. Hang in there!

Best regards,

Laura said...

Thank you for posting this, even though you were embarrassed. It's a lesson for the rest of us, that we can't count on someone else to fulfill our dreams (in your case, a husband who would be able to provide you with the life of a stay at home mom). I'm in the exact same situation -- husband disabled, and I'm the breadwinner for both of us and 2 kids. I'm learning to count only on myself for anything financial, and it IS hard.

Krystle said...

I'm going to go along with what others have said to you and say that you'd be much better off leaving that company. It doesn't pay to try to get a promotion/new job in a company where they have a negative "background" on you. Get away from Big Bank Co and start fresh in a whole new company.

It will save your sanity.

Gael said...

That just sucks. You definitely need to get outta there.

Can you maybe find a photographer to hire you for weekend weddings and build up some extra cash and some resume experience?