Thursday, August 30, 2007

Having Nothing At All to do with Babies or the Act of Making Them

If you are a person of the praying persuasion, please pray for my friend Laurie.  Her mom had a heart attack at the State Fair, collapsed, and died this morning.  Laurie isn’t doing so well.  Not only was she not ready for this but she and her mom had squabbled earlier in the week and hadn’t made up.  Laurie did tell her mom she loved her before leaving and after the squabble, but there was still hard feelings there and now Laurie is having panic attacks and isn’t feeling up to facing this right now.  Please pray for her and her family and for the strength to get through this.  Thanks!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

IUI Update

So the insemination happened without a hitch.  Not that it wasn’t threatened.  I was in a meeting when Bob was supposed to be in giving his sample.  I came out to find a voicemail from him saying he couldn’t find where he was supposed to be.  It was 9:05 and I had our shared cell phone.  I went to look up the number for the clinic to see if Bob was supposed to be there or go to another clinic.  As I found the number, Bob called and said he found it and was where he was supposed to be.  Whew.  I went in two hours later to find that things had gone off without a hitch.  The sample Bob left was labeled “fair”.  I felt a tad disappointed at that until I remembered all we need is 1.  So…hopefully one will make it.  I was given instructions to have sex in 36 hours and to make an appointment for Tuesday to check hormone levels.  I was also given a prescription for progesterone suppositories.  I am to take two a day but there aren’t instructions on how to insert it or how far to insert it.  Anyone?  Any experienced suppository users out there?  Should this take and I actually get and stay pregnant, I am to take these bad boys through my 12th week. Finally, I can take a pregnancy test on the 10th.  Actually, I will know by then anyway since that’s the day my next period is due.  So, that’s that and there is nothing to do but wait.  And shove pills into my hoo ha.

I guess I am thankful that the next few days are super busy.  That way I don’t have time to just dwell, fixate, and worry.  Tonight is homework night at the library, tomorrow night it school.  This weekend is filled with the fair and the MDA Telethon.  Next week is rapidly turning out to be jam packed with stuff to go over and get done before my boss’s last day of work with our team.  I also have the clinic visit, a goodbye happy hour (which I will have to forego and miss my favorite mojito!), and then the weekend will be spent in my home town with my mom.  So…it looks like time will fly until the 10th (I hope).

Who am I kidding?  Even with the business of the next 2 weeks, all I can think about is getting and staying pregnant.  Today the RE’s clinic was bustling with pregnant women.  All of them with protruding bellies covered by cute little maternity tops or stretchy T-shirts.  I want to be one of them.  What’s even worse is the multitude of bulletin boards filled with baby pictures you have to pass as you walk to the exam room.  Most are of one baby but there are a few with two or three newborns featured.  I want one of those cards with our baby’s picture on it.  Man, I hope we don’t have to use all our tries.  After this we have 4 more tries to go and I’m hoping we don’t have to go through them all.  Actually, I’m hoping we don’t have to use any more at all after today.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Highs and Lows

Things are good right now.  At least with me, for the most part.  Things are not so good for Bob.  He is really struggling with depression right now.  It is really odd being on the other side of depression…being on the side of the loved one watching the struggle instead of going through it myself.  I tend to be pretty hands off.  Other than some daily encouragement and love I don’t nag, I don’t tell him what to do, I don’t tell him how things could be worse, and I don’t push him in any direction.  He knows that he would benefit from counseling, medication, finding a support group and/or social worker.  He also knows where to go to find these things.  If it gets bad enough and he’s hurting enough, he will seek out help.  In the meantime, I listen to him when he needs to vent.  I hold him at night.  I encourage him by telling him what I love about him and how much he means to me.  I don’t know what else to do.

Bob gave me my hormone shot last night.  It was a weird experience.  He’s medically experienced in giving shots…to animals.  Still, he did a good job and I won’t worry about it, should he have to do it again.  Tomorrow is the insemination and I am anxious about that.  Still, all we can do is what we can do.  Bob goes in at 9 and I go in at 11.  After that, we wait and see.  Oh God, I hope this works.  It helps that there is a lot of stuff going on between now and two weeks from now.  This weekend we are going to the fair again.  Sunday and Monday will be busy with the MDA Telethon.  Next weekend I am going to visit my mother and keep her company while my dad is out of town.  So there will be plenty to do which will keep me busy until we can know if the insemination took.

I just found out that we are getting a nice little check back.  It’s surplus on something that has already been paid so it was ours to begin with and it’s just coming back to us.  We are going to pay off our credit cards with it but I also get to use part of it to expand my photography equipment.  Yay!  We are also using some of it to further modify our home for Bob.  He needs a bath chair and another device to help him when he’s in bed.  It’s a sturdy pole that attaches to the floor and ceiling and has bars that stick our horizontally.  Bob can use the bars to pull himself up in bed and steady himself when he’s getting dressed nearby.  These things will help him to be more ambulatory and help me to stop worrying.  I am so thankful for this check.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Follicle Information

First, follicle update.  I went in to the clinic at lunch time today.  I still have the two follicles.  The left side measured at 20 today and the right side measured at 14.  The insemination is scheduled for 11am Wednesday.  I am under doctor’s orders to have marital relations with my husband tonight and then nothing until the insemination.  Also, Bob has to give me my hormone injection tonight.  I think he is looking forward to jabbing me with a needle.  So, we look good to go for now.  I was worried at first because the right follicle was measuring small and at first she couldn’t find the left one.  After a lot of looking and enough pressure that made me think I was going to burst, she found it.  Whew!  After the follicle search, I had to go to the pharmacy to get the RX for the hormones.  The pharmacy at the clinic was fresh out of the RX so I had to drive to my regular pharmacy and drop it off there for pick up after work.  Bob will stick me at bedtime and then we just wait for Wednesday.

We went to the State Fair on Saturday (check out the photos on my Flickr badge at right).  I am such the little kid.  I woke up around 4:30am and could not get back to sleep.  Finally around 5, I got up and began getting ready for the day.  Bob woke up soon after and we were out the door by 6:30 and at the fair by 7.  Once we parked and got out onto the fairgrounds, it was about 7:30.  It’s nice getting there early because you can actually more and breathe.  Once 9 or 10 hits, forget it.  All of humanity seems to be at the fair and moving at a snail’s pace.

The fair was great.  We ate at the Epiphany Diner for breakfast.  This is a nice experience because you get to actually sit down and eat your meal.  Bob had a standard egg breakfast and I had biscuits and gravy.  After breakfast, we walked to the Miracle of Birth building.  Not much was going on there (other than 8 million parents and kids milling about) but it is always nice to see the animals.  After that, Bob decided to stay by the DNR fish pond while I went to check out some bargains.  I found a cool cup/bottle holder for Bob’s wheelchair, some socks that are supposed to be good for blister free walking, a nozzle for our kitchen sink, some spot remover for our carpet, and some Gedney State Fair baby dill pickles.  I also got the card of the Electrolux vacuum cleaner sales guy who told me to talk to Bob and come back to talk vacuums…or not.  He actually said that.  Salesmen in MN are laid back.  Turns out we didn’t go back to talk to the vacuum guy.

After a nice lunch of corn on the cob and corndogs, we headed for the Pet Center.  I got the cats a toy, watched an obedience demonstration, pet some nice doggies, and then it was on to the FM107.1 stage.  Oh!  Except before that, we saw the daily fair parade.  This was the first year I’d ever seen it.  It was pretty cool.  Back at FM107.1, I got to be on the radio for a bit talking about the new website.  That was cool.  After that it was time to take in some exhibits at the education building.  Having had enough fun there, it was time to see some animals.  This year I got only as far as the bunnies and the sheep.  I did get some nice photos of some disapproving rabbits though.  Following that, we picked up dinner of a wild rice burger and cheese curds and then head out for some fun time on the midway.  Bob won a giant dog so we decided it was time to pack it in and go home.  By this point, it was nearing 7pm.  We’d spent the whole day at the fair and I hadn’t made it to the cow or horse barns or to Heritage Square.  Oh well, stuff to do next week.

Yesterday I woke up with the achiest feet and calves in all the land.  I have large blisters on both feet and my arches and calves still hurt today.  I did make it to Shuler shoes to get some new walking shoes and socks and to The Avenue and got a couple of new work out outfits.  I also got some laundry done and after that I did absolutely nothing.  And that’s the way I like it.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Mom is fine and Graduation is Imminent!

My mom came through surgery just fine.  She remained in the hospital overnight and was to be discharged sometime later this afternoon.  She received 2 pins and a plate apparently.  I was told that she received the bouquet of flowers I ordered upon checking in to the hospital.  Nice.  So she has 6 to 8 weeks of recovery and probably some form of physical therapy ahead of her.

I received my graduation forms on Wednesday.  One of the forms asked me to fill out my name exactly as I’d have it appear on my diploma. You can bet I relished filling that baby out!  I turned in the forms yesterday and was told I was the first one!  Score!  I found out that we can order caps and gowns in October, our graduation assembly is December 11th, and the actual graduation is an all day affair on Friday, December 21st.  I have to take the day off work but you can bet your bippy I’ll be doing just that.  There is a brunch thing at 11, rehearsal at 1, assembling at 3, and graduation is from 4-5:30.  I get 9 tickets for family and friends.  I.  Can’t. Wait.

I also received my grade from my last class.  I got an A!  I also received a perfect score on my final presentation.  That was a very nice surprise indeed.  My last night of my current class is Thursday with the final paper due the following week.  My dreaded class from hell begins September 13th and will feature 5 long, grueling weeks of graduate level research work.  Gah.  Also, our work is to be done in groups.  I hate group work because you always end up picking up the slack for some chump who doesn’t care as much as you do and refuses to work with you.  Then you all get the same grade even though 1 or more of you did the lion’s share of the work.  So unfair.

Tomorrow is State Fair day.  Pictures to follow.

Monday, of course, is follicle check 2.1.  I will update after that appointment.  Oh!  I wanted to write that when I called Bob with the update of yesterday’s appointment, I started to tell him about it and he interrupted me to say, “There are 2 follicles aren’t there?”  I said there were and how did he know and he said he just knew.  Then I said there was one on each side (left and right) and he said he knew that too because in his mind he saw the letter Y with a circle over each arm of the “y”.  Weird, right?

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Follicle Update

Boy I’m getting good at this ultrasound stuff.  This was the first ultrasound post polyp and it was good not to see that little invader in there.  I left my desk at work at 11:30 and was back at my desk by 11:35 after the appointment and picking up lunch as well.  The ultrasound revealed 2 follicles.  One on my left and one on my right.  Also, it seems the Clomid slowed my ovulation down, which it is known to do. (I didn’t know that, but the nurse said it’s not uncommon.)  While the follicles look good, they are not ready yet.  They only measure at about 6 and they want to see them at closer to 20.  So I go back on Monday for a second look-see and the insemination is tentatively scheduled for Wednesday.  I also had to pay a boatload of cash today to make our account current.  Good thing my tuition reimbursement check went through and showed up today.

My mom emailed that the orthopedic surgeon called her as soon as he saw the X-rays and wanted her in surgery today.  I don’t know what time the surgery is scheduled for but supposedly she will go in this afternoon and will remain in the hospital overnight.  I ordered a bouquet of flowers sent to her to cheer her up.

Then Bob calls and says that last night he fell and hit his head/face and now he is sporting a giant goose egg and black eye.  I didn’t see it because he fell after I was asleep and I got up and left for work before he got up.  Nice.  He’ll look amazing going in on Wednesday to drop off his sample.

Still no Ty or Home Makeover sightings though the bus was seen getting on to the interstate that would take it to Sears, so who knows?  Some of the volunteers have been using my local Caribou and that’s become Home Makeover gossip central. 

The state fair opened today.  It’s been foggy, damp, gray, and raining all day.  Supposedly Saturday and Sunday are supposed to be sunny and warm.  Perfect State Fair weather.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Ty Pennington is 3 miles away from me right now!

Extreme Makeover Home Edition is making over a home in my town, less than 3 miles from where I am currently sitting.  My co-workers and I have talked about staking out the Sears at the mall across the street in order to catch a glimpse of the Home Makeover team.  The family they are building for has 3 kids (including a set of twins and 1 more kid on the way) and they took in the wife’s sister’s 4 kids after she was murdered last year by her abusive ex-boyfriend.  Both parents are teachers in the local school district and their students are the ones that nominated them and sent in the application.  Cool, huh?  I’ll let you know if I have a sighting.  I should have my camera with me at all times from now on.

I’m still waiting to hear more info on my mom.  She wasn’t able to get in for her orthopedic assessment yesterday and had to wait for today.  Hopefully they will get on the stick and get her assessed and patched up as soon as possible.  The only fly in the ointment is that the one orthopedic surgeon her clinic pushes has a bad reputation and at 62, I think my mom needs every medical advantage.  I told my dad to just take her to the U hospital and have them patch her up.  I guess they are waiting for the assessment before making a decision.  I am trying to decide if I need to go there over Labor Day weekend to help. 

Stuff at work is jacked.  I can’t talk about it in depth but the gist is that both of the managers of my department are leaving.  They both got different jobs in other departments at the same time and their last day will be September 7th.  That will leave us manager-less until the powers that be in CA hire a replacement.  They are only going to hire 1 person to replace the 2 that are leaving.  Still, it’s not good news.  My manager is the only thing that makes working here bearable.  She is the buffer between the CA managers and us.  That is probably the reason she is leaving.  Who wants to be a buffer for very long?  Anyway, it feels like abandonment even though we know it’s not and she is responsible for her own career path and needs to make wise decisions in that vein.  Still, we are all kind of out of sorts and mopey as a result.

Tomorrow is the ultrasound.  Nothing to report on that until then.  Today the Qwest internet tech is supposed to come to our home to fix our internet service.  I had to go to the library the past few days in order to use the free wifi and complete homework for school.  Thankfully I got all my homework done last night so tonight I can just go home, make dinner, clean up, and go to bed. Unless I decide to stake out Sears instead.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Bad News Really Brings the Weepies

Last day on Clomid, thank God.  So weepy over every little thing.  Yesterday we got some bad (though not awful or life changing or “Oh My GOD”) news and as soon as it was announced, the tears began to fall.  At work.  Sheesh!  All I can say is this better work because the week of weepies will get old soon.  Although I’m told that pregnancy hormones are just as fun.  At least with the pregnancy hormones you have something to show for at the end.

I was out last night.  I got home around 10pm.  First thing I did was check our voicemail messages.  The second one was my dad and as soon as I heard his voice I knew something bad had happened.  Thankfully it wasn’t horribly bad but bad enough.  Turns out my mom slipped and broke her ankle in three places.  I called this morning (their 42 anniversary by the way) to check on her and Dad said they were STILL waiting to hear from an orthopedic surgeon but were about ready to give up and call him instead.  She slept overnight with a splint and some painkillers.  She has a borrowed wheelchair.  Man, this sucks.  My poor little Mommy.  Hope they can get her put together and to rights again soon.  Send good thoughts her way.  Of course as I listened to the message, tears began to flow. 

It’s still raining today.  Maybe the atmosphere is also going through hormonal changes. A look at the long range weather map shows maybe some clearing by Friday.  Hopefully the state fairgrounds will be dried up for our visit on Saturday. 

Monday, August 20, 2007

Clomid's Working

I think the Clomid is working.  I am weepy at the drop of a hat.  Our internet has been out for several days and while trying to get customer service to understand the problem, I broke down and cried.  When I told Bob the tech couldn’t make it to our place until Wednesday, I broke down and cried again.  Then today my boss took our little team into her office to tell us she is accepting a job in another department and would be leaving us and…you got it.  I broke down and cried again.  (Not great heaving sobs of sorrow mind you.  Just little tear drops of sadness.)  So yeah, the Clomid seems to be working.  Tomorrow is my last day to take it.  Thursday is the FUS and after that I will know more.  Follow along in our continuing saga.

I found the thing I want for my birthday/graduation/Christmas gift.  I went to the jewelry store in our building to get my wedding set cleaned and while there I saw a beautiful ring.  It is a white gold ring with a horizontal oval stone surrounded by teeny diamond chips.  The stone in the ring right now is the August birthstone but the salesman said it could be set with the December birthstone just as easily.  So I got the info written down on the salesman’s card, including my ring size and birthstone and will be handing it to my beloved husband so he can dutifully plan ahead and hopefully, possibly purchase the ring for me in December.  I don’t usually go for jewelry.  In fact the only jewelry I usually wear is my wedding set but for my 40th/graduation I thought something a bit fanciful was in order.  Oh, and it’s at a bargain price and that’s even better!

It hasn’t stopped raining for…it seems like a week now but I think it’s only been 4 days.  We were in the midst of a huge drought but with 4 days of grey, drizzly, rain the drought is over.  Some places are seeing flooding since the ground is so saturated.  One town documented 17 inches of rain in a 24 hour period setting a new state record.  A house was flooded off its foundation as 3 people clung to it in hopes of avoiding the flood and being rescued.  Imagine riding your house down the white water rapids!  The rest of the week looks to be as rainy, drippy, and drizzly as the last four days.  It’s good nap weather, unfortunately I don’t have time for a nap.

Friday, August 17, 2007

No Title

I started the Clomid today (Speaking of…why did none of you inform me that I’d been spelling it wrong?) and so far so good.  Except all of a sudden I have a headache and it feels like I am having cramps around my ovaries.  But I haven’t gone all crabby or crazy and hope it’s a good sign of things to come.  Only 4 more days of taking it, then the FUS, then the insemination, and then the longest 2 week wait of my entire life.  Which reminds me of something.  Friends was one of my favorite TV shows and I know it was a sitcom and not real life but when Phoebe had the embryo transfer as a surrogate for her sister-in-law, they made it look like she took a pregnancy test the day of the transfer and got a positive test result.  Now I’m not doing embryo transfer but I would think the same principle applies.  If you know better or different, let me know in the comments.  Why can’t live be like Friends?

The trees are beginning to change color.  It’s freaking me out.  I saw the color change happening the last week of July for heaven’s sake!  I LOVE fall but am not a fan of winter. (Good thing I live in a state where winter lasts roughly 8 months out of the year then, huh?)  Winter is so stark and dark and long.  Once the leaves change color, it’s not long before they drop off and leave all our trees bare and naked and lonely looking. 

I have senioritis in the worst way.  I am halfway through my third class with only 2 more to go.  The next class I take is supposed to be a ballbuster and I am not looking forward to it.  Senioritis has manifested in a way that is making me care only half-heartedly about finishing my work.  So I finish it but it’s not up to me usual perfectionist standards. I only care that it’s done at this point but I don’t care how well it’s done.  Not my proudest announcement, but totally true.  I can’t wait to be done.

I am putting together a photo project for my combination birthday/graduation party. Since I am usually behind the camera and not in front of it, I sent out the word to all my friends and family that I need them to send me any photos of me from any age, in groups or alone, so I can create a power point/slideshow thing to show at the party.  I have the school years and post marriage years covered but need to fill the gaps between them.  I hope people help me out with this.  It could be fun.  I even wrote to my old elementary school to see if they have any photographs of my 6th grade class’s performance of “A Quiet Home Wedding.”  This performance occurred well before the days of cell phones and digital cameras.  I don’t even think portable video cameras were even used in the late 70’s, not that I remember anyway.  I have not heard back from them, but I hope to.  How about you?  Any former Washington Elementary students with photographic evidence of that fine performance?

I am not looking forward to the weekend.  It is not going to be restful or relaxing at all.  We need to be in Hastings by 8am Sunday morning to help with a fundraiser.  We will be there all day.  That means Saturday is going to have to be a housework and homework day.  I am going to have to do laundry, spot clean, and get the majority of my homework done tomorrow.  Which means tonight is a lazy night.  Unless I want to get as much stuff done tonight as I can in order to free up some time tomorrow.  At this point I would say no but we’ll see what happens when I get home.  Sometimes the condition of my house drives me to compulsively clean it before bed.  And there are things that HAVE to be done like watering the flowers and cleaning the cat boxes.  Sometimes getting that stuff done spurs me on to complete the rest of the housework.  Yet sometimes I just do those 2 things and then sit on the couch like a lump for the rest of the night.  If I were to guess right now, I would say couch lump is looking mighty pleasing right about now.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Looking Ahead

I was going to write a lovely post this morning about how much better my period is this time around now that my uterus is completely clear of polyps, endometriosis, and the like.  I am well into day 2 of my cycle and it was smooth, pain-free sailing…until lunch time today.  I have since taken my one half of a Vicodin tablet and am feeling muuuuucccchhhhh better now thank you.  I will say that even though there was Vicodin worthy pain, it is much diminished from previous months.  Also, in the past, I’ve had to pop the Vicodin much earlier (like hour 1 of day 1) in my cycle.

Last night after work, my co-workers and I gathered together at a local boat launch and had an after work lake cruise.  It was a lot of fun.  We had some concerns because the weather men were loaded with all kinds of weather woe and worry about an approaching storm. Thankfully, the bad weather was put off and we were able to enjoy a 2-hour cruise around beautiful Lake Minnetonka.  This particular cruise is touted as the Fajitas & Margaritas cruise and it was!  We were given the Margaritas immediately upon boarding and after about 30 minutes out, we got in line to dish up some delish fajitas.  Check out my Flickr badge for photos of the event.

As a group of co-workers, we don’t do much outside of work and this was a real treat.  The weather was beautiful, the food good, and being on the lake was heavenly.  All of these things came together beautifully and fostered some good interaction between all of us.  There were only 2 co-workers missing from the outing so we considered it a success and it seemed like everyone had fun and enjoyed themselves.  We were able to leave the work at work and actually talk and relate to each other as people and folks rather than co-worker, manager, or drone.  I recommend events like these for anyone who works in a small office.  It really does wonders to promote teamwork and foster more interaction.

Of course the weather couldn’t hold off forever.  As we carpooled back to work to pick up our cars, we heard word of a severe storm complete with tornadic activity, straight line winds, and hail just north of us.  Half our group had to drive that way to get home.  The rest of us weren’t left out as a second storm with just as much fury hit our part of the metro area just as the evening news was winding down.  Bob and I stayed up and watched it. After a while I had to turn away because the lightning was so bright it blinded me.  The thunder was so loud that our apartment building shook and car alarms kept going off in the parking lot.   The second storm was supposed to be bringing lower air temps and less humidity but as I left for work this morning at 7am, the temp was 77 and the dew point 66.  It was downright tropical.

I am kind of stuck right now.  Instead of living each day as its own and enjoying all I can about the day, I am living in the future.  I’m trying not to but it’s hard.  I live for Friday when I can start the Chlomid.  I live for next Thursday when I get the ultrasound.  I live for next Friday or Saturday when I go through the next insemination.  I live for next Saturday when we go to the State Fair.  I live for Labor Day weekend when we work the telethon.  I live for September when we celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary.  I live for October when my 4th and next to last class (which has been touted as the class from hell from those who came before us and know) will be over and done.  I live for November when I will finish my 5th and final class.  I live for December 14th when I turn 40.  I live for December 21st when I finally, finally graduate from college.  I live for January when I will throw myself a birthday/graduation party.  I live for the day when I can say, “I’m pregnant!”  I live for the day when I can hold my baby.  I live for the day when I am a mom.  I live for the day when our family of 2 becomes a family of 3+.  I know I need to just get through and live for today, but there is so much to look forward to that I find it hard not to keep looking ahead.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Regarding the weekend and our next steps

The weekend went by too quickly.  I spent most of Friday night doing chores such as cleaning litter boxes, cleaning out the dishwasher, cleaning our 2 bathrooms, vacuuming, and cleaning the kitchen.  Bob and I went to bed around midnight only to be awoken by an amazing cacophony of booms, bangs, and crashes and an amazing strobe light show of lightning. I love storms and we’ve been denied them this the summer of the drought.  I stayed up for about 45 minutes watching the storm.  I started to get sleepy and a couple of times faded off only to be jerked awake by gigantic claps of thunder.  The wind was whipping the trees and rain and I had to get up to shut the windows in our living room and office though I left out sliding glass door open in our bedroom, the better to hear the storm.

Saturday dawned sunny and brilliant and I got up before noon, paid the bills electronically, did the laundry, shopped for various and sundry things (cat litter, laundry soap, fabric softener, etc), and then got home to find Bob bored and wanting to do something.  We decided to go to the Mall of America’s Underwater World.  We had free tickets and wanted to give them a try.  Might as well, it was a sweltering 90+ and humid outside.  Why not spend the rest of the afternoon/evening in the MOA’s air conditioned glory?  Well, it seemed that all the parents in the metro had the same idea.  The Mall and UWW was packed with people and their progeny.  UWW was OK.  Not worth the price of a regular ticket, but cool enough. We had the usual frustrations of parents letting their kids run out in front of Bob who can’t stop on a dime in his chair.  We also had the parents whose kids just stood in front of Bob in his chair.  And we had the stroller people walking or parking their gigantomobiles side by side which made it hard if not impossible for Bob to get by without nasty glares and sighs of almighty put-out-upon-ness.  Sheesh.  Finally, we had our favorite struggle when we go out in public, the use of the public elevator.  For Bob, the ONLY way he can manage to get from floor to floor is via elevator.  Yet we continue to get pushed out by very able bodied ambulatory people who insist on using the elevator.  THEY could use stairs or escalators.  There are several sets of both located throughout the mall.  There are only 4 or so sets of elevators and they are notoriously slow.  I finally got fed up when we got mobbed out of yet another elevator in the parking ramp and said passive aggressively as the door closed, “Oh sure, all the people who CAN take the stairs are hogging the elevator so you have to wait again, honey!”  He was embarrassed but I’d had enough.  Grrrrrr.

We drove home in another storm and watched the skies behind us darken, the skies ahead of us lighten and the lightning flash to the north and south of us.  We stopped at Dairy Queen for a treat because what’s a stormy summer Saturday without a dilly bar?  When we got out of the car, we saw a family with my very favorite puppy in the whole world…a Burmese Mountain dog.  She was 7 weeks old and so roly poly, cute, and fluffy!  This nice family let me pet and play with her and then they gave her ice cream to lick off her very own spoon.  So!  Cute!

Last night I had a dream that I was pregnant and getting ready to deliver a baby.  Then the dream switched and suddenly I was home with the baby but couldn’t remember having the baby, if the baby was a boy or girl, and what we named the baby.  I decided to change its diaper to see if it was a boy or girl.  It was a boy and as soon as air hit his little pee-pee, an arc of urine baptized me.  Bob came around and told me his name was Daniel.  I wasn’t thrilled with the name but went with it.  In the dream we talked about how easy it had been to conceive and how easy the pregnancy was so we began to plan our next pregnancy.  The dream could be a result of us going ahead with our next insemination.  I got my period today and called the clinic for Chlomid as my doctor told me to do.  The front desk person asked me if I’m supposed to come in or are they supposed to call in an RX.  I said I didn’t know as this was my first time.  She said she would have a nurse call me.  So far, no one has called.  Next week…insemination try #2.

Ooops…regarding the above, the nurse JUST called.  Turns out she needed a pharmacy phone number.  She is calling in my prescription for the Chlomid.  I am to start taking it on day 5 and take it every day for 5 days.  I have a follicle ultrasound scheduled for next Thursday and the insemination should follow shortly after and then the longest 2 week wait in history. 

Let me end with this.  After I told Bob about my baby dream, he said, “Where was the 2nd baby?”  I explained that there was just the one baby.  He insisted there should have been two.  He is pretty sure that I will have twins and adamant in his desire for two.  I remain hopeful and cautious.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

On Walking and National Night Out

On Monday a new workout room opened in the building where I work.  The cost to use it is $10 a year.  I got the pass and began using it on Tuesday.  The hours for the room at 6am-6pm.  That doesnt leave a lot of time for people to work out around their work day I like to work out in the morning because I tend to blow stuff off after work because Im too tired to do anything else. Anyway, when they had us sign up to get the passes, they had over 600 people sign up.  This is a smallish room with 4 treadmills, 4 elliptical machines, 2 bikes, and some weights. There are 2 showers per locker room.  I thought when I got there at 6am yesterday that I would have to fight my way to a machine since there was such high interest shown.  Imagine my surprise when I showed up and there was only one other woman there. At 6:30, two guys showed up.  After my shower, I left the place at about 7:15 and it was empty. 

Today when I showed up at 6, all the ellipticals were in use but there were a couple of treadmills open.  However, this morning happened to be very pleasant and the sun was rising so I decided to actually walk outside instead of inside on the treadmill.  There are some corporate campuses nearby and I dont know if they or the city are responsible for the beautiful walking trails nearby.  I walked around this meadowy/pond area and it was glorious.  There were bunnies hopping about, birds singing and flitting by, and a large crane or egret standing in the pond itself.  On this particular path there are shady spots and open spots.  The shady spots are framed by mature trees of every kind making a tunnel of green leafy goodness.  I am so glad I decided to walk outside.

I got back to my building with plenty of time to get ready for my work day but had to wait for a shower so I decided to work my legs on the weight machines.  I had worked my arms yesterday and was told not to work the same muscle groups the next day.  Once I was done with the leg weight circuit, a shower was free and I made it to my desk by my assigned work time.  About 2 hours later I began to experience a lovely euphoria that left me feeling up and happy until my blood sugar crashed near lunch time and I got the hangries.  (Thats where you revert back to being 3 and everything sets you off because you are hungry and you become jittery and anxious until food once again is comsumed.)

Heres a question to ponder, How come walking outside seems to go much faster than walking the same distance on a treadmill?  The 30+ minutes I walked outside went so much faster than the 30+ minutes I walked on the treadmill.  When Im on the treadmill I have to force myself to keep walking.  I tell myselfwalk only 5 more minutes and then see how you feel.  After 5 minutes I tell myselfwalk 5 more minutes and then see how you feel.  Its so boring.  I am going to walk outside as long as the weather is nice.  Soon the cold will come and the snow will fly and walking outside will not be the delight it was today.  (Yes, it is August and I am talking of snow coming soon.  I live in MNland of the North.)

Last night was National Night Out.  Our apartment complex had a nice little gathering.  There was free food, prizes, games, a bouncy house for the kids, a piƱata, water balloons, and music.  It was a lot of fun.  Its nice for us because there are two complexes in our apartment community and while we see and get to know quite a few people from our own building, we rarely if ever see anyone from the other building.  There seemed to be quite a few more kids this year than in the past.  Its nice to see some of the same people year after year and yet meet the new ones.  Does your neighborhood do anything for National Night Out?

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Post-Op Update and The MDA

I had my post-op appointment with my RE yesterday. It went well. The polyp tested benign so that was good. In fact, it tested as not a polyp at all but as endometrial lining tissue. I asked if that meant it was part of the endometriosis because I am clueless. Turns out that it tested as part of the lining of the uterus. Oh well. It was big and bulbous and looked like a polyp to my doctor and now my uterus is all clean and free of outsiders and interlopers.

We discussed what’s next. When I get my next period, I am to call the clinic and set up an office visit to get some Clomid. I am going to try a couple of cycles on Clomid and see what transpires. While that is happening, I need to be working my butt off. Literally. I need to lose weight because I am back to a BMI that is embarrassing and this clinic will not allow me to use injectables while carrying this particular weight and BMI. We’re still not sure we want to use injectables but we would like to have options if the Clomid doesn’t work. My RE did say that should using Clomid or injectables result in 3 or more follicles, they would cancel the cycle right away and advise us to not proceed on our own, romantically speaking. She said twins, in her opinion, would be a respectable result in her opinion but beyond that, multiples are not a desired result.
Miss Zoot is raising money for her local MDA. Please go to her site and help her meet her goal. She was nominated by someone to raise money for this worthy cause and is not very familiar with the Muscular Dystrophy Association. She asked me to write something that details who they are and why they are so important to me and my husband. Here is my attempt.

When we had been married 6 months, my husband was diagnosed with FSH Muscular Dystrophy. He had had it his whole life but it had most likely manifested at puberty. There are over 40 different kinds of Muscular Dystrophy and they affect all kinds of people. Thankfully, the kind my husband has is not life threatening though it has affected his quality of life. When Bob was diagnosed, we knew nothing about Muscular Dystrophy other than it was the disease that had the Labor Day Telethon behind it. At his diagnosis, we were directed to The Muscular Dystrophy Association. I am so glad we were. (Before I proceed any further, please let me say that Muscular Dystrophy is NOT the same thing as Multiple Sclerosis. Bob is FOREVER being told that so-and-so has MS or so-and-so gave money to MS. MD and MS is NOT the same thing.)

Anyway, once we hooked up with the MDA, we didn’t feel so alone. What MDA did for us was immeasurable. They put Bob in touch with the local clinic. He goes in once a year to see a specialist in regards to his particular form of MD. They also loaned him an electric wheelchair until my insurance benefits kicked in and we could get a new one. Then they helped cover the cost of the co-pay. They also cover maintenance and battery costs of the wheelchair every year. These are things we could not afford on our own. They host a support group for people suffering from the same type of MD that Bob has. This group meets monthly and has been invaluable in helping us get through the hard stuff. We have also met other people who have other kinds of MD and while our issues may be different, we can all learn from each other.

We have helped MDA raise funds by working at lock-ups, walking, working at the annual telethon, and helping out at Harley rides. We love our local MDA. The people that work there are dedicated, kind, loving, and helpful. They know us by face and name and always greet us with smiles and exclamation of our last name when we walk in. We love the MDA and all they stand for. The hardest thing about working with the MDA and getting to know people with MD is watching the progression of the disease in the people we have come to love. It is especially hard to watch the kids go from running, to using a walker, to using a wheelchair, and finally not seeing them at all because they’ve passed away. That is why we work so hard to raise funds for MD. We are not as concerned about Bob and his form of MD because it’s non-lethal. We do care about all the kids we know with Duchene’s MD and all the others we know with ALS and we want to fund research that will find the cure for these horrible diseases.

Thanks Zoot! Good Luck!

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Rainy Day

The garbage truck woke me up this morning at 6am. I tried to get back to sleep but tossed and turned so I just threw off the covers, threw on some clothes and drove downtown. I wasn't the only one there in the early morning drizzle.

I first drove to the Gutherie Theater thinking I could get a view of the downed bridge from either the Mill City Museum area or the Stone Arch Bridge. No go. There is yellow crime scene tape strung all over the river area and most public viewing areas are closed off to the public. At first I thought it was because the president was coming and they didn't want easy access for snipers. I later found out that this tragedy is being treated as a crime and they are keeping tight tabs on the area until bodies are recovered and debris cleared.

After taking some photos from near the Mill City Museum, I decided to try the other side of the river and drove to the U of M. As I drove East, I passed a large motorcade of giant black SUVs with D.C. plates. The president was expected but hadn't yet landed so I wondered if this was the first lady's motorcade or the cars the President would use later. There wasn't a police present around them but it wasn't even 7am yet so I have no idea what the deal was with them. I did manage to click a photo of one of the SUVs though.

The East bank/West bank footbridge at the U of M was also closed to the public and heavy foliage blocked most of the view of the downed bridge. There were quite a few people out walking looking for a good place to view the damage. There was really no such place. Across the river we could see many police cars, ambulances, and other cars parked at a former public river park. It looked like command central.

After taking some photos, I left downtown and headed back to my relative suburban safety. I got home and went back to bed and snuggled close to my husband.

Hard as it is to imagine, this could have been a larger tragedy than it actually was and for that, I am thankful. I read an article today explaining how so many people could have survived a 60 fall from the collapsing bridge. It really is a miracle. That seemingly only 12 people died out of nearly hundreds is amazing. The other amazing thing is that the people who survived the fall immediately began to help others to get out of their vehicles, off the bridge, and into safer areas. With little or no regard for their own safety, the actions of these people were truly heroic. I only hope that should I ever be in such a situation, I would do the same.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Moving Along

It seems wrong to focus on the stuff of life when there are still people missing, presumably entombed in the mighty Mississippi.  Still, we who are living must continue to live.  Still, something compels me to go down to the Stone Arch Bridge this weekend to see the wreckage for myself.  I may, if the urge remains as strong as it is today and barring any unforeseen quarantine-ing of the area.

In lieu of life going on, I had my final presentation class last night and had to give my presentation final.  It went well and the grade I received was an A…99 out of 100.  Not bad.  Bob accompanied me as we were to invite family and friends to pose as our audience.   He said I did a great job and he was proud to be my husband.  Sweet.  I also got my final grade report from my class previous, PR Writing…a B+.  Not bad considering I was actually expecting my first C.  I hadn’t put forth the effort I thought was A or B worthy and yet I ended up with a high B.  So far in my back to college career, I’ve managed to pull and A’s and B’s, a feat I rarely managed in primary and rarely managed in secondary school.  Turns out I may not have been working up to my potential.  Who knew?

Next Thursday begins the fall semester for me at school.  It is also my final semester of school.  I have 3 classes left.  I am a senior in college with one semester left.  It seems like a dream.  I am within sight of finishing college and getting my degree! This is definitely squee-worthy. It’s only taken me 21 and a half years.  I talked to Bob about planning a 40th birthday/graduation party in January.  My birthday and graduation is in December but it is too hard to get people together that month and January usually brings a little let down with it after the hoopla and hype of the holidays. 

I am feeling much better today after the D&C.  My muscles no longer hurt and the effects of the anesthesia seem to have finally worn off.  I figured out that my neck and shoulders muscles hurt so much because of the wedge pillow they shoved under my shoulders in order to get my airway to be optimally opened.  My neck hung backwards off the pillow for an hour during the surgery and my muscles aren’t used to that, hence the pain. I am now muscle pain free and able to get back on my bike this weekend.  I have my surgery follow-up on Monday and will know more about how we can proceed with baby making after that.  My uterus is now essentially an empty room ready for an occupant.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

We Are Fine

We are fine.  Thank you to those of you who worried about us and have been checking in.  Neither Bob nor I travel the bridge that collapsed.  We’ve been over it for sure but it’s been a long time.  At the time that the bridge collapsed, we were at Lake Harriet.  I was going crazy being cooped up in the apartment and asked Bob if we could please go for a walk around the lake.  He agreed.  While we were there, we heard lots of sirens and wondered aloud of the cause/source.  It wasn’t until we stopped at Walgreen’s for an extension cord that we heard what had happened.  We went home and turned on the TV to watch the footage.  I checked my email and my mom had already sent me a message.  We are fine and as far as we know, those we know and love are fine as well.  I am so thankful that the busload of children were spared and saved.  We are praying for those not as lucky.

I really struggle with catastrophic events and my place.  My heart grieves and yet there are so many responsibilities I need to concentrate on.  Tonight is my final exam/presentation for a class, I have to go to work, Bob received some heavy news I can’t talk about right now, and other such “life goes on” kinds of things.  The same thing happened to me during 9/11.  I watched the tragedy and horror on TV and was struck by shock and yet I had a wedding occurring in roughly 2 weeks and was worried about that.  I usually respond to the emotional aspects of these tragedies weeks and months later when it’s no longer on the front page and not so much appropriate.  I don’t know how to change that about me so I will just go along as I can.

Thanks again for checking in. 

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Just Fine

Well, the D & C went well. I came out of the anesthesia a lot better this time and only felt a little bit crampy. The doc said I only had one polyp but that it was rather large and was growing (sitting?) in the exact place a fertilized egg would want to implant so it's likely this could be the cause of our inability to get pregnant. We shall see as we move forward.

I got home and was still kind of tired and loopy so I went to bed and read until I fell asleep. But then at bed time I couldn't fall asleep at all. It was well after 3 before I fell asleep. I awoke around 10 groggy and mysteriously achy and sore. I wonder if the soreness is residual bike riding soreness or if this is a symptom of coming off the anesthesia. Oh and my throat hurts from having the breathing tube inserted. Hate.

I'm off today but back into the swing of things tomorrow. Tomorrow is also my last day of my Final Presentations class and I have to present my final presentation. I'm not too worried but I do need to jazz up my power point slides a little based on the feed back I received last week. We were supposed to invited friends and loved ones to this and I have but so far only Bob has responded in the affirmative. Oh well. I don't mind just presenting to my classmates and their families.

For some reason I have a bug in my bonnet about wanting to kayak the chain of lakes. I looked up kayak rentals in the Twin Cities and found one on Lake Calhoun. I am hoping to get down there on Saturday if the weather is nice. I am more excited about this than I can even explain. It's like I am craving kayaking and won't be satisfied until that craving is fulfilled. Man, I can't wait until Saturday.