Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Scary Health

I am an addict. I am addicted to Coca-Cola. I’ve given it up several times over the years. The last time was before my gastric bypass surgery. Actually, the last time was Friday. I haven’t had a Coke since then and I’m jonesing for one now. I have the headache, the shakes, the dry mouth followed by the saliva-filled mouth at the thought of a sip of the delicious dark nectar. But no more soda for me. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada. If the news on Tuesday wasn’t enough motivation, the fact that I gained 25 pounds in one month sure the heck is. Not to mention the other health effects such as the rumble tummy and horrible gas. I’m done. It’s now all water supplemented by an occasional V-8. But still, would chuck it all for a fountain Coke on ice right now. I won’t, but I would.

Turns out that gastric bypass is not a magical tool that allows you to eat and drink whatever you want and never gain weight. Huh. Who knew?

As part of the new, more health conscious me (snort), I made a yummy dinner last night. I broiled some tilapia for the main dish. As sides we had corn on the cob, a small side salad, and rice-a-roni in which I added a bunch of fresh broccoli. It was yummy and good and Bob liked it. I didn’t get raves, but he cleaned his plate and asked for seconds on the rice so that was good.

I have the OK for my D&C. It’s scheduled for Tuesday of next week. I had to have a pre-op check-up and that is where I found out that I have gained 25 lbs in a month. I was shocked, as was the nurse practitioner. We talked about changes I can make and things I was already doing. I can’t begin to explain how ashamed I felt and how horrible I still feel. Why is it I can’t seem to make health changes for the better unless I’m under guilt and humiliation? Oh, and I also found out I’m slightly anemic so I need to bump up the iron content in my diet. Surprisingly, raisin bran has the highest amount of iron per serving than most anything so I added a cup to my daily breakfast intake. I also need to get back on the supplements since I’ve been slacking there as well.

I don’t know what my aversion to regular, formal exercise is. I do know that my feet are part of that aversion since they are prone to easily blister. Still, I have a bike I can ride and there is a workout room at the apartment and at work. When I think of using them, I imagine others there too and further think that somehow there will be comparisons made and I won’t measure up. So instead of sticking to a good habit of working out, I slip into my bad habit of projecting a negative outcome on a positive activity in order to avoid said activity altogether. Rather than try and fail, in my head, it is better to not try at all. I have to overcome that. I have to overcome the head part in order to make the body part feel right and healthy.


Melanie said...

I'm in the same boat with you, weight wise. The counselor I've been seeing just yesterday suggested I try hypnosis to get my head back in the game. I have trouble staying with any healthy eating for much longer than a few days. I'm looking forward to going back to him in a couple weeks and starting it.

Though I'm not addicted to Coke, I do really like it, too. One of the smartest things my mom did was start my brothers and I drinking unsweetened tea as kids, instead of Kool-Aid or Cokes. To this day, we all prefer the tea. Of course somehow I still managed to get myself up to 300+ pounds.

Dawn said...

Did you ever try that Coke Zero? It really does taste like Coke. It's still bad for you, as all soda is, but at least it doesn't have any calories. I was a Coke addict too, once upon a time.... Thankfully I weaned myself off of it, and am now a Diet Coke addict.