Learning I have a lot to learn

I was nervous about class last night.  I’ve been struggling with being 40 lately and thinking that sounds so old.  I was afraid that I would show up in this class and be the oldest person in the room.  I just had a lot of anxiety.  I think a lot of it stems from my job and the fact that no matter what I do, it’s not good enough and the fact that mistakes are sought out, pointed out, and made to be life and death.  So now I feel like I am not able to do anything well or that if I do, it will be dissected to the nth degree and every negative aspect picked apart.  This is what I was bringing to class.  Fun, huh?

Anyway, class was AWESOME!  Women outnumber men but there is a great age range.  In fact the table where I sat featured 3 other women close to my age so we were all able to chat about “old lady” stuff.  Our instructor was positive and encouraging.  He gave us our syllabus and assignment schedule and it’s kind of overwhelming but he was so excited for us that I became excited myself.  I am really going to get to know how to use my camera and its manual functions.  I am going to grow and learn and become an even better photographer and I am so excited.

There are people at all levels of talent and knowledge.  I am about in the middle (age and talent-wise).  I don’t know much about the RAW format and I’m a dummy when it comes to f-stops and apertures, but ask me about it all at the end of this class and I know I will have the knowledge to back up my answers and work.

I already have homework, reading, and prep for a pop quiz in that class.  I also have to purchase a wide angle lens and some sensor cleaners.  I’ve been meaning to get a wide angle lens so this will be a good way to get one and learn how to use it.

I have class again tonight too.  Last night’s class was Intro to Prof. Photography and tonight’s class is Photo Design.  Many of the same people I was in class with last night will also be in class with me tonight.  I am still trying to get into another class that is full and am hoping someone drops it in the next few days so I can add it and be set for the semester.

One thing made me feel so good last night.  Our instructor was trying to get a gauge for our knowledge and talent and asked us, “How many of you have family and friends that always love your work and tell you to do this for a job?”  About a quarter to half of us raised our hands.  The instructor then said that this indicates that we have a natural talent for lighting and composition and will probably really enjoy building on what we already know.  He also said it will be work and that we may get to a point where we get frustrated because, “shouldn’t we know all there is to know about photography already?”  But no.  If we ever get to a place where we aren’t constantly growing, learning, building, and getting better then we should hang up our cameras.

In response to my last post from earlier this morning, my friend Nan may have found a car.  One of my other friends actually had an old car she has been meaning to donate but hadn’t done yet.  Nan and her husband are going to check it out and it looks like it might work.  My friend is going to just give it to them if it works out and that is awesome.  LOVE!  IT!