Monday, July 24, 2006

Back at Work

I’m back at work today. It is going OK although my boss requested a meeting with me today and at that meeting, she told me that I haven’t been performing up to par and that while I was gone, she discovered some things that disappointed and surprised her but she won’t go over those things with me until my semi-annual review next month. So, no idea what she could mean, although I know I have not been performing well lately…duh. And she said I would not be getting preferential treatment and would have to put my nose to the grindstone and work hard. I never asked for preferential treatment and I am ready to work hard. She also said she is surprised I am going back to school so soon and if I become distracted again, she will have to talk to me about putting off school for a time since work comes first. Work might come first but they don’t get to tell me what to do with my free time or schooling. Finally, she said that last week we had one day with no transactions at all and she is getting pressure from her higher ups to dictate in actual time what my duties are and how long each one should/does take. She is going to scrutinize me and my job for the next couple of weeks to see what I am doing and how long it is taking me. She is also going to structure my day more so than she has been so I have enough things to keep me busy. I wish they would just cut my position and let me look for something else within the company. Actually, I wish I could just magically transform myself into someone who keeps/care/boards horses and runs training and therapy camps for kids. I think that would be the best job in the world.

My trip home was good though quite quick. I got to my folks’ house Thursday night in time for dinner and then chatted with them for a bit. I realized I had forgotten some things so I made a quick trip to Wally World to pick up the forgotten items. Since I was out and about, I made a quick cruise through town and noticed a couple of new buildings, a couple of new vacancies, and not much else new, exciting, or different. I also got myself a nice car wash since the dead bugs had built up on my windshield and a bird had relieved itself within my sightline on the windshield. I got home and chatted with my folks some more before going to bed.

Friday I woke up earlier than I intended. I had wanted to sleep in but slept pretty crappily and just decided to get up. My nephews were there so we chatted and played and watched a movie. Then mom took us all to lunch at the Pizza Hut. After lunch, I loaded up my car and drove to West Bend to see some friends I haven’t seen for years. Since our last meeting, 3 children have been born and they were all there to delight over. I love these friends. Even though we hadn’t seen each other in years, it was as if we hadn’t been apart at all. The conversation was easy and fun. There was laughter that comes from the belly and lasts a long, long time. There was food and the holding and cooing of babies. There was catching up and remember whens and who’s doing what nows. It was fun and yet bittersweet because though we used to have this kind of fellowship nearly daily for several years, now it’s several years between visits and that’s no fun at all. I left there around 9 and got home near to midnight. Gas prices near Milwaukee shocked me. Nearly $3.20 for a gallon. In Madison it’s nearly $3.10. When I left MN, it was $2.89.

Saturday I wanted to sleep late but again was thwarted. I got up and was on the way to the Madison Farmer’s Market by 7:30. The market was still packed with yuppie families and hippy shoppers. I got my traditional Chai latte and made my way once around the square to see what kinds of bargains and offerings were to be had. The second trip is for buying. I bought some cheese curds. White, not yellow. I bought some goats cheese too, a little feta, some cheddar, and Muenster. I got a couple of ears of my favorite bi-color sweet corn and some funny purple and white bell peppers. Finally, I got some home made pasta that I can’t wait to make tonight with some grilled chicken breasts. I got the goods and instead of heading directly home, I swung by the UW Memorial Union to check out the terrace and the lake. I wished I had had some coffee so I could have just sat and drunk in the sight of the lake along with my brew. But I took some photos and enjoyed the lake for a bit before heading for home.

Mom and dad were leaving for a party in MN for Mom’s brother. We said goodbye and I finished our laundry. I realized that I could just leave for The Cities after visiting my brother and still make it home before dark. I finished the laundry, packed up my stuff, stripped the bed I’d been sleeping in and threw all the linens in the wash, and went to my brother’s to visit him and his family. The visit was laid back and fun. The boys played in, by, around their pool while the grown ups chatted. I ended up leaving their place around 4:30. I stopped for a bite to eat and then hit the road home. I started driving in sun, but soon hit some swirly scary clouds that looked ominous. No bad weather though and was soon back in the bright sunshine. I made it home by 9, which was pretty good time. Bob was surprised to see me, but happy to have me home. I have never been so glad to be home in my life. I unpacked, picked up, and vegged until my eyelids could stay open no more.

Sunday was another veg day. Bob had to work so I made us brunch before he left. I also had a roast in the crockpot for later. I uploaded my photos to Flickr (check them out by clicking my Flickr badge) and caught up on my email. I was in bed early and read until my eyes drooped. Overall, it was a good weekend and a nice way to end these past 2 weeks. I am scared about what is to come and nervous about being back at work, especially when things seem so up in the air and yet so stern and hard-nosed. We shall see what transpires.


Yvonne said...

Can you begin to look for a new position within the company before the boss drives you mad?

Virtual Insanity said...

It upset me to read the first part of your post. Your boss and job have no right whatsoever to treat you that way. Work does NOT come does. As you can see they are already backpedaling and trying to figure out ways to get rid of you. How can your boss tell you that you're failing at things but not tell you what you are failing at? She's just documenting so they can let you go later...and as far as her telling you about school...that makes me even more angry. A company is supposed to stand behind their employees and want their employees to succeed and better his or herself.

I hope you are still looking for jobs because I am praying hard for you to find a new and better situation. I think you are amazing and I think your job is one of the things that is keeping you down.

I was in a similiar situation and it was so hard for me to let go and move into the unknown after so many years and no idea where I was going to go next...Oh, but when I did...such a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders.It was like the sun was shining in my world and I could actually smile again.