According to scientists today is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year. Yay us! After my fun and productive weekend, I did wake up with a small amount of malaise. My mood was not made better by walking into the office today. As I walked off the elevator, I walked into a lobby surrounded by fanciful, colorful balloons and a huge banner that said, “You make us great!” As soon as I saw it my heart and mood dropped. Oh great. It’s that time of year again. It’s the Insurance departments’ employee appreciation week. This is great if you are employed in the Insurance department but sucks rocks if you aren’t. Guess which boat I’m in? Correct! I am the in red headed stepchild boat. The boat where we must witness the love lavished upon all the employees on our floor but cannot partake. SUCKS! As I walk to my desk I have to pass cube after cube, each adorned with a fun balloon and a gift bag. Then I get to our corner of the floor and am greeted by the stark emptiness of NOTHING. This looks to be a long, dark, bleak week.
It wouldn’t be so bad except I know review time is quickly approaching. I am anxious about reviews this year. Last year was my worst and it was evident in all the stupid mistakes I made at work and in my attendance. The past 6 months have been stellar, though. In fact, I have earned 2 service awards and several email commendations in my efforts here since the mass exodus of 2006. Still, I have some reservations about my boss’s ability to look at the past 6 months objectively in light of the previous 6 months. I think I have to wait until March to get the actual review. I am not looking forward to it at all.
I KNOW that I married the right man. I made another financial error. I paid one of our credit card bills twice and missed a payment on another one thinking I was paying it instead. So then we got a bill from the card I didn’t pay and it was HUGE because we got dinged for missing a payment and that put us over our limit so they dinged us again for being over the limit. Bob got the bill and was 27 different kinds of pissed. Thankfully I wasn’t home when he got the bill. By the time I got home, he had calmed down and was able to discuss it with me. We are working on our financial plan. We are starting a class on Thursday that will help us to pay down our debt and save money. I need something. It is the shame of my life. I am almost 40 years old and am smart. Why can I not get my act together financially? Why do I keep making these stupid math errors and billing errors? Hopefully this class will help. Bob is so patient with me. He tells me that I am not doing anything he didn’t do at my age and that one day it will all fall together and I will be better. Even though these mistakes adversely affect him, he remains calm and a source of stability for me. He continues to amaze me.