Friday, February 24, 2006

Just One More

I have to say that I like my boss. It's weird because before she was my boss she was a co-worker and a friend. She's still a friend but she's also my boss. Sometimes the dynamic is weird but mostly, she is awesome. She was also taking CE with me. It was kind of weird sitting next to my boss during CE, but it was also nice getting some time with her outside of the office.

We had lunch together yesterday and today. We agreed that every time we take a CE class, we end up leaving with fear that we are underinsured, under prepared, and our IRAs are underfunded. We also talked about our families. She has a 14 month old daughter, a husband, a mom who has leukemia, and other concerns. Her father died 2 years ago. I have Bob and the fear that family planning may not be as important as retirement planning. But we are going to go ahead with it anyway.

Earlier in the week we had a team meeting and the point was made that we can no longer make appointments for lunch hours and they are getting a little particular on how we take PTO. My boss knows we've been trying to have a baby for some time. She has a good friend going through similar things and we often compare notes. I told her my physician referred me to an RE and the only time I could get in was at 10am or 2pm. They schedule new patients at specific times in the day and not during early morning or later evening hours. I told her I know it's in the middle of the day, but I could reschedule for later in the year when I have more PTO saved up and after tax season.

She was super sweet and kind and generous and almost made me cry. She said the lunch time appointment ban was for the phone team and not so much for us. She said I could come in early, leave at 9:30 and be back by 11:30 and be OK. It was a huge relief to hear that. I was worried I would have to put off these appointments because of work and now I know that as long as I don't abuse the kindness shown me, I won't have to put anything off.

Concerning how I feel about starting all of this, I have to say I am...not scared, but definitely nervous. As I wrote in an email to a friend, I am nervous about what they will find. I am nervous about what they won't find. I am nervous they will find it's my body that is defective and how I'll feel about that. I am nervous they will find it's male factor and how I'll feel about that. I am nervous that after tests and drugs and more trying nothing will happen. I am nervous something will happen and it will end up with me pregnant with multiples. I am nervous that this will affect our already tenuous grasp on spontaneous sex. And I hate how procreation and sex are the same act. Why can't they be separate?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm needing information on fertility help. What is the cost factor of this endeavor? Does insurance pay all of it or will there be "out of pocket" for us?
What are the percentages of multiple births? Do you know if there is a higher probability of the baby (or babies) having problems? What about the mom having complications of pregnacy? Do you know how long it could take to get pregnant? Wondering too if your husband has lower sperm, if that has any ramifications. Just in the early stages of getting information here and have alot of questions. Do you know any people who are in similar circumstances as you...and if so...are they of a help with information for you?
Wanting a baby is so strong but wonder if the baby or I would have problems? I can't afford not to work. My partner is supportive but probably isn't going to be alot of help due to his job situation. I also need to find good childcare as you know how expensive that is in your area. I have no frame of reference! I don't have any family that could help out and we don't have alot of money! I've been reading your posts for a time and thought you might be able to offer some information here.