Taking a Month Off

Turns out that if you have every minute of a week scheduled to the hilt, you end up having very little time to sit and think (or stew as the case may be.) about stuff.  Saturday ended up being a day of little to no “stuff” but lots and lots of thinking (or stewing as the case may be.) and crying.  In the end I have decided that I/we are taking a month off.  One month with no temperature taking, no Clomid, no Progesterone, no charting, no clinic appointments, no HcG shots, no wands up the hoo-ha, no timed intercourse, no sample-taking, no, no, no.  I need a month off from this craziness.

Speaking of the craziness that is conception and pregnancy, one of my dearest friends is due to have a C-section on the 26^th.  This will be her second child.  She and her husband had problems conceiving and subsequently had medical help.  It worked for them and now they have two!  I am supremely happy for them but also insanely jealous.  I just want it to be me.

So Friday night turned out to be kind of fun.  I got to the hotel early and was able to set up my tri-pod and get situated. There was a high-end designer trunk show set up in the ballroom.  The clothes were amazing, mostly made of cashmere.  There were also leather boots and bags and belts.  There was a cashmere baby line as well though I couldn’t see paying $150 for a pair of booties or $500 for a cashmere sleeper that would most likely be spit up upon.  Anyway, the evening went well and I took many, many photos of pretty, pretty people and I am mostly happy with them.  I had the chance to pass out my card a couple of times which reminded me that I need to get some cards. Oops.  Everyone kept asking if I was with MN Monthly or Mpls/St. Paul Magazine.  Hee.

I just took a look at the syllabus for my next (last) class.  And what did I find?  I found out that once again, we will be grouped together for a final project/presentation!  Gah!  Out of a possible 330 points for the whole class, the final paper and project are work 200!  The only good thing is that the one gal I don’t get along with will not be in this particular class.  At this point I don’t care who I get grouped with.  It’s my final class and my final project and I will just do what needs to be done to be done.

I don’t know if this is a result of my grief over not being able to conceive or due to the fact that we have only had 3 days of sun in the past 3 weeks, but I am sad and tired and probably depressed.  All I want to do is sleep.  Or lie on the couch and watch TV.  I do stuff around the house only because it needs doing but it takes a lot of effort and self talk to get anything done right now.  Everything just seems so dark and dank and lonely right now.