Thursday, September 14, 2006


Oh, I forgot to write this down.  As tired as Ive been Ive been having weird dreams.  Last night I dreamt that it was the day after my birthday and I had completely forgotten about my birthday at all until a friend wished me an apologetic belated greeting.  After that I felt horrible because everyone, including me forgot my birthday.  I kept saying that, This is the first time Ive ever forgotten my birthday.  And it wasnt so much that.  It was that everyone else forgot.  I woke up with a horrible let-down/rejected feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Thankfully I had more time before my alarm went off and didnt have to start my day with that on the brain.

However, the worst dream was the night before last.  I dreamt that someone gave Bob a boat but for him to get in the boat, he had to maneuver himself in a couple of dangerous positions.  I watched him go through these machinations with fear and fright and just when I thought hed be safe, he fell into the water.  Some friends who were with us pulled him out and put him to bed. He was unconscious.  I kept asking if we shouldnt call an ambulance but no one thought it was necessary.  I thought he might have a concussion but no one else seemed concerned.  I sat by his bedside holding his hand and willing him to wake up but he never did.  In my heart I knew I should take him to the hospital but I didnt have a car and no one would drive us.  After a while I went out into the yard where some family members were watching our daughter play.  However, they werent watching her carefully and she toddled off on her toddler legs and fell down a rocky cliff.  I screamed at the family members and asked how they could let her fall.  I woke from this dream feeling fear and grief from what had happened to Bob and from what had just happened to our daughter.  I was also confused as to why our family was not as concerned about us as we thought they should be.  It was very weird and not a good way to wake up.

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