Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The Breaking Point

Wait.  What is that huge glowing orb in the sky?  It mystifies me as it warms me.  I think I recall seeing this strange phenomenon before, but its been so long.  It is so enticing. 

Do you think if you cry when your alarm goes off in the morning, things have reached a breaking point?  Poor Bob.  He wakes up to a sobbing wife and its not even 7am.  I just dont have time to do everything that needs to get done and its stressing me out.  I did cancel my make and take session for tonight.  I put together the potluck item I am bringing to my work pot luck tomorrow this morning before I left the house and I rescheduled my counseling session for next week.  That lightens the load a bit but I am still stressed.  Once my paper is written, I think things will be much better.

I received a book in the mail.  I wrote a desperate letter to a healing ministry about two months ago.  This was before I found my counselor and my medicinal center on Celexa.  In response to my letter, they sent a book called, Empty Womb, Aching Heart.  I read the back cover before I went to bed and in an almost immediate response, the tears, they did flow.  Thankfully I dont have time to read that book right now, so it sits on my bedside table until some time opens up.  I will also plan to have a box of tissues handy when I do start reading.

OK, Im still feeling kind of overwhelmed and stressed.  What can I do?  I know!  I will tell a funny story from my youth.  Here is a humiliating story of how boy crazy I wasand how delusional.  When I was 12 or 13, a new family moved into our neighborhood. They had a cute boy my age and I really liked him.  He was NOT interested in me at all.  So how do you get a boy who shows no interest to show interest?  In my mind, you point him in the right direction.  I decided that a letter written by some older kids in the neighborhood might do the trick.  Everyone knows older kids know everything!  So I “anonymously” wrote a letter from three of the older teenaged girls in our neighborhood.  Then I gave it to this boy and told him that three girls in a convertible dropped it off and told me to give it to him.  Yeah. I know!  I was the butt of many jokes after that. (Wellto be honest, I was the butt of many jokes before that as well, but this definitely didnt help matters any.)  What did you do when you were young and stupid?

This has been rattling around in my brain for a couple of days but I have to say I do not appreciate the adoption story line on Desperate Housewives.  No wonder adoption is so misunderstood and maligned.  However, on Sunday, when they took Gabbys baby and gave it to the birth mother, I cried.  I know!  I cried over Desperate Housewives.  But seriously, my heart was breaking for Gabby who had finally just allowed herself to fall in love with something other than herself.  Thats not an excuse for them to continue on this horrendous story line though.

1 comment:

mom-on-roof said...

Oh Amy, you rascal. Did you forget you are writing in WEBLOG form, and that PREVIOUS KITTENS from PREVIOUS ENTRIES show up on your CURRENT entry? Did you forget that little tidbit? It's funny, but seeing kittens right now makes me want to go out and adopt a small... dog. I have Teacup Yorkies on the BRAIN!!! I'm sending massive (((HUGZZZ))) your way, and hopes and dreams and prayers, for your child to make himself known to you soon. (Or herself.)