Sunday, May 07, 2006

Getting Ready

You might have to click and enlarge the photo to the left to see the Doe laying in the woods, but she is there. So is her baby though you can't see the baby. Bob and I went for a walk this afternoon and caught sight of this brave mama keeping a wary eye on us. The funny this is, we weren't walking in the woods. We just walked up the street we live on and turned left onto another street which is nestled in the woods, near a swamp. It has the feel of living off in the woords in the middle of nowhere. Bob and I would LOVE to live there but we are sure lots are $300,000 or more. Still, a couple can dream and pray and hope...can't they? If you click the Flickr badge on my sidebar, you can see that spring has sprung here in the Twin Cities and lilacs, cherry, and apple blossoms are out full force. The air smells sweet, the flowers are lush, and the breeze is warm. It's gorgeous.

So this weekend. It started slow and steady. Friday I left work and went to the liquor store to pick up some wine and some cinco de mayo booze for Bob. Heh. I got home with the good stuff, heated up some dinner and hung with the hubby.

Saturday I was up around 8 and out the door by 9:30. One of my friends invited me to her home for a seminar/retreat-type thing and I wanted to get there by 10. However, it seemed as though "something" did not want me there at all. First, I stopped at my favorite coffee place to get a latte. Instead of the decalf vanilla latte I ordered, I was handed an iced vanilla cooler. Yeah, that's the same thing. I had to get in line again to get a refund and place my real order and by this time the line had grown to about a half dozen people in front of me. I didn't make it out of there until ten to 10. Then, the exit I was going to take was closed for bridge painting or construction or some such thing. Then, the alternative road I took had slow traffic due to a large walk for animals. The stop lights were all out, the side streets blocked and cops were directing both foot and vehicle traffic. I got through that OK only to have a guy turn into traffic right in front of me and stop in my lane. I had the green light and the right of way. He had a red light but a giant SUV. I laid on the horn and swerved around him only to have him give me the finger of friendship. Nice. I did finally make it to my friend's house. I was only 25 minutes late.

The retreat was good. I met some nice women and was reminded that I am not a dud. I can do the things I set my mind to and will succeed. All I need to do it try. I need to change my thinking and set my course. Even if I change .1 degree, it a change that can affect the entire course of my (our) future in major ways in the future. Anyway, it was a good reminder. Especially since I've been thinking about what to do with myself after I get my degree in December. I am really liking this PR section we are doing and would not mind finding something in that line of work. Our next class will be in PR writing and once we are finished, we will have an entire portfolio of things we can use as examples of our work.

After hanging out at my friend's house, I drove home to meet Bob. He hasn't been sleeping well again and hadn't been up very long. We decided to get something to eat on our way to meet the builder we had made an appointment with. We had a good talk in the car on the way to dinner. Bob's eBay business has been going gangbusters lately and we are putting away that money for a down payment on a house. It is more money than we could have imagined could be made when Bob started this business a few months ago. We also agreed that after we pay off my car in two months, we will use that money to pay off all our credit cards (we don't have much left to pay off, but what's left is still eating away at money that could go towards a house). Once they are paid off, we are going to take the money I usually paid towards my car and put it in savings. That should build up nicely and come in handy for life's little emergencies.

After we ate, we drove to the builder's. His name is Dave and he is one heck of a nice guy. He went over our salaries and budget and financial responsibilities and said he may be able to help us build something perfectly suited for us, but probably not in the next year. Once we went over the numbers, we realized that this is what we want and we will save as long and as much as we can to do it. The bad news is we probably can't build a home like this for under $300,000 including the lot. The good news is, there is most likely some government help we can apply for under Bob's disability that will help cover the cost of some of the modifications we need like low entry doors, an elevator, a ceiling lift, and a sink on hydraulics that will raise and lower for Bob. So, we left in OK spirits with Dave promising to look into some other things, Bob promising to check out the government help available, and me hoping to save as much money in the next two years as possible. And to find a better paying job so we can afford this. We don't mind where we are living now, except that we are renting and our money is going nowhere. However, we won't mind living here as we are saving and building a next egg for our future home.

Today being Sunday meant that we had church. And boy did we have church. It was awesome. One guy led us in a good old Southern Gospel hymn during our worship time. Then, during the offering, a guy that ministers in "the hood" rapped an awesome tune. Southern gospel and rap in one service. That some diversity for ya.

After the service, a woman we know and love came up to me and Bob and said a relative of her daughter in law was put into jail this weekend for drug use and possession. While in jail they found out she is pregnant. She will not be able to keep the baby once it is born because she will be in jail. She has no family able to take a new born and would we consider adopting this baby if it worked out that way? We wasted no time in saying yes we would take the baby. Our friend said she didn't know the particulars and since this young woman is in another state, there might be some issues, but she would call her daughter in law and start the ball rolling in that direction if possible. I don't know what to do with this right now except pray. There are too many variables and unknowns to do anything but pray right now. Still, much to my dismay, there is a tiny little bubble of hope in my heart right now. Dang it. I can never not hope.

After church there was a brunch for all in the fellowship hall. Bob and I headed down there with some friends and had good fellowship. Afterwards, I went outside to walk and pray and take pictures of the beautiful apple and cherry blossoms. After that, I hung out in the van and made a couple of phone calls to tell people to pray about the baby thing. I also read some scripture and claimed the promises offered there.

Bob and I drove home and talked about how God is creative and amazing and surprising and if He chooses to build our family this way, so be it. We are all for it. Once we got home, we decided to go for a walk. Which is where we saw that beautiful mother doe and some other amazing sites of nature. Spring is my favorite time of year, bar none.

So, we are getting ready. We are saving money to build the house Bob needs rather than making due with something lesser. We are looking towards my graduation in 7 months and planning on how that will change things. I am making an appointment with the career development office at school to see how they can help me make the most of what I have to offer. We are still making and keeping appointments with the RE's and urologist's office to see what we can do, if anything, to have biological children, and we are making our hearts and home open to whatever children God sees fit to bring to us. We are getting ready because we feel as though our time in God's waiting room is done. He has plans for us and He is getting ready to make them known.

This next part is going to sound stupid to some of those of you who might be reading this. If you don't have a personal faith in God or don't believe in prayer, the supernatural, miracles, or the prophetic, you maybe should just stop reading now.

I've written about how I've been experiencing pronounced cramping in the morning this past week even though I've been over my period for 4 days now. Even when I'm on my period I only cramp the first and maybe second day. Yesterday while I was driving to my friend's house I was praying about the cramping and asking God what I should do. Should I see a doctor? Should I take medicine? Should I seek prayer? And here's the weird part. I felt like God was telling me that the cramping was a sign. A sign of impending labor. They were like labor pains and they meant that I am in the process of giving birth. That's all I got. I don't know if He meant giving birth to an actual child or if He meant giving birth to an idea or something else entirely. Yet how interesting was today's conversation with our church lady friend after that? I will keep seeking God on this and see what He tells me. In all honesty, if they keep up for a week or so, I will still be seeking medical attention...I'm not stupid. But I am getting ready.


lap said...

Oh Amy- you just sound so wonderfully up. I love hearing such positivity from you. Even choosing to look at your discomfort as a sign (and honestly- when it gets looked at, it's probably still a side-effect from your procedure, especially since you did it right after your period..) but really stuff does fall into peoples' laps when they are brave enough to let it. Wonderful stuff. I'm thinking about fate and God's will on your behalf right now. And I'm totally smiling.

lap said...

Why is it weird? It's not like I'm the only person who you read, and reads you that you feel that way about..I have this theory that you when you feel you are getting an actual genuine impression of who someone is, it creates that feeling of bonding- you know like pheremones do with the people you kiss. It's automatic. It's the payoff for good/truthful purging, or something.

The houseguest is Scott, daddyman, who's been staying with us since last summer since it was so clear that surprise! his children missed him. It's been mostly okay in terms of financial stuff, but I really get worn out because I don't have any fondness so much at all for him. It's very tiring to deal with the flaws of someone who you're not in love with, and on a daily basis.

So that's the mystery of the houseguest revealed.