Friday, January 27, 2006

Back to the Grind

So its only been 3 days since we got back from Florida and today is only my second day back at work and, other than brief remembrances of sun, warmth, and sleeping in, it doesnt feel like I went on vacation at all.  However, the weather here in MN has been somewhat Florida like.  Yesterday was sunny and the temperature was almost 50 degrees.  Today is sunny and they are expecting the temps to top out over 50.  How crazy is that?  Presumably, we brought back the sun and warmth with us.  Bob and I are both peeling now, so if this weather holds, maybe we can get some color back.

Bob and I are still flying high with the news that hes our local MDA chapters nomination for the national Goodwill Ambassador.  We still dont know much more on that, but they have emailed him a form to fill out.  And we did find out that MN Hearing and Service Dogs will be contacting Bob at the end of February or beginning of March to match him with a dog.  So we will be waiting a while on that.

 So Ive used the Magic Bullet.  Ive only juiced with it, I havent used it for its chopping or slicing capabilities yet.  It works fineits OK.  Why was I so excited about owning this product?  Stupid Infomercials! Its fine for juicing, but you have to juice a ton of fruit and veggies to get one cup of juice and I have to stop it and clean it out at least 4 times before I complete a full cup.  Today I cut up 8 apples, 2 carrots, and a handful each of strawberries, watermelon, and cranberries and was able to fill one of the Magic Bullet plastic cups about ¾ full.  Its worth it to me because this is the only way Bob will eat any fruit and some veggies.  At least this way I can get a cup of good stuff into him.

I dont know why this gets me so jazzed up, but it does.  Ever since weve been married, whenever Ive sneezed, Bob just ignores me and wont say, Bless you.  Its always kind of bugged me, but he explained that hes never done that and probably never will.  Well, the other day, I sneezed a GIANT sneezetwice.  And Bob said bless you both times!  This was huge for me but I dont know why.  Ive never felt so loved by this man who is my husband until he blessed my sneeze.  Weird, no?

Speaking of my husband and our relationshipI have an issue that I need to work out.  I am willing to accept advice, but I am NOT willing to accept assvice and you assvice givers know who you are.  Also, if you are a member of my family, please do not read further.  This issue is kind of sensitive and it might upset you to read of it. Everybody got it?  Ready?  Good!

Heres the deal.  Bob and I have been trying to communicate about our sex life.  When I am in the mood, our sex life is very, very good.  When Im not, its not.  It ends up where I feel I have to be the initiator because Bob wont.  He says that when he tried to initiate, I tell him no or say Im not in the mood.  This might be true.  While in Florida, he asked me and I said I wasnt in the mood, but given the right circumstances could probably get there.  So he held me and kissed my neck and rubbed me andI fell back to sleep.  He was sad.  I tried to tell him that women are not like men and cant get turned on in seconds.  We need to be wooed and involved and warmed up.  I even gave him the women are like crock pots, men are like microwaves analogy.  Even after all of that, he didnt understand that I wasnt rejecting him, I just need more time and motivation than he does when hes the one initiating.  He said he just wont initiate anymore.  So, were kind of at an impasse.  Anyone else have any experience with this?  Let me know how you worked through it. Im not so good with you telling me how to get through this as I am interested in know how you worked through it yourself.  Thanks.


Finding My New Normal said...

I am trying to test the comments section. People have said they aren't able to leave comments and I haven't had any in such a long time. So...test, test, test.

Finding My New Normal said...

Seems to work for me.

B.E.C.K. said...

Well, I wasn't able to work out this issue with my son's dad because he's a bonafide narcissist (according to the clinical definition). He used to wonder why saying "Am I going to get lucky?" didn't do the trick. However, I do know a couple who read the ever-popular "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" and had good results. I think sometimes it helps for guys (and gals, for that matter) to hear the advice from someone other than their partners, because there's too much emotional baggage between relationship partners to begin with.

Anonymous said...

This is a tough one. I have the opposite problem as I am always in the mood and DH isn't due to health issues and, well, my hormones are running amuck! Best I can tell you is to be open, ask what Bob needs from you to feel you are into him. I know you are into him, but they won't hear it when we tell them in women language. Shaunti Feldhahn's For Women Only is a great book. It tells things from a man point of view. Really helps me understand my husband. Sex to men is the language of love and we say no they hear "REJECTED!!" even though it isn't true. Hope this helps. The book explains why men will not attempt another rejection, that's why Bob won't initiate anymore. Good luck, I know you both will work through this "bump" in the road of marriage.


Anonymous said...

Maybe you could initiate it a few times and surprise him. My husband says he also has feelings that need to be taken into consideration. Sort of sounds girlish even to me, but he is my husband and at the end of the day his happiness is my concern. Give it a try. You can woo him!