Sunday, November 18, 2007

First Snow and Christmas

I just watched Duran Duran perform on the American Music Awards. Yow! Since when did blue jeans come with cod pieces? He may be old, but Simon LeBon is still hot.

Today I did 7 loads of laundry and made a yummy dinner that consisted of pork roast, home made potatoes au gratin, and Mexican green beans. It was rather excellent if I do say so. There are left overs for lunch tomorrow and that's a good thing.

You know what I can't get used to? The grief. It sneaks up on me in the weirdest times and moments. I will be making up our bed and all of a sudden I miss the children we don't have and I will start to cry. I will be driving my car, running errands, and all of a sudden I miss the children that never were and I begin to cry. I see a pregnant woman, family with small children, or a father and daughter out shopping and I have to reign in my emotions so as to not make a complete fool of myself in public. It takes me completely by surprise and the feeling of sadness and the aches come over my like waves. It's a real, tangible pain that surprises me with its swift presence. I never get used to it.

It snowed today. Not enough to accumulate. It was too warm for the snow to stick, but it snowed as I was driving home from the laundromat. Our first snow of the season. And did the Christmas season start without me? No one alerted me that this weekend was the official start of Christmas. I saw cars with Christmas trees atop their roofs. There are houses and apartments already decked out in their holiday finery. Target has all its Christmas decorations up and out and there is a radio station already playing the holiday classics. It seems early. It seemed early when I saw the Christmas displays in Macy's in September but for some reason it seems wrong to see all the Christmas finery now. What's wrong with waiting until next weekend like normal people?

1 comment:

Yvonne said...

The stores around here had halloween and Christmas decorations at the same time! Unbelievable.